I-Message

I was watching a film names Happily N’Ever After 2. It was told about the famous Snow White, but with different story we ever told on our childhood bedtime story. One scene I remember the most was when Snow White shown up just before her father wants to married Lady Vain. Instead of angry, mocking, or doing something cruel, she said she acquiesce on their married if his father really in love with Lady Vain, but if he willing to married Lady Vain just because she was naughty, she was totally changed into good girl. Her statements made her father think and decided to cancell his married to Lady Vain.

That scene made me remember about one techiques that my lectures was taught names I-message, when you feel angry or want to criticize someone, instead of mocking them, it will be more effective if you focused on telling your feeling or thinking of their action. For instance, if you don’t like your boyfriend smoking in front of you, instead of scold him (that will make him angry and maybe make both of you fighting, and he will not get the point), why don’t you just tell him you can cough or you get can sick because of his action.

Maybe it’s not easy to applied I-message in real life. I also still have difficulty to admonish people who throw away trash not in the right place or people who smoke in front of me, but instead of wasting your energy to mocking someone who will not get your point or in fact will make them upset or angry when you mocking on them, I-message will be a good way out to talk assertively and resolve your problem. What do you think?

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