I am very shock when I was watching ‘Oprah Show’, talked about bullying victims following commiting into suicide. It was feel more terrible, when I knew, the victims just in their 10-11 year olds. How can it happen? On their age, they need to just fulfill with playing and other fun things.
There are several interesting things in this show and make me learn a lot. I want to share to you, especially to parents and teachers that have their children/students in the similar situation. I hope you can get lessons like me :
– Most of children who commit in suicide, tease by their friends with ‘homo’ or ‘lesbian’, which they not really know about these meaning. They just know those verb are humiliated to show their power, they tease weak friend with this named. It called ‘sexual verbally harassment’. One thing that glimpse on my mind to solve this problems is sexual education for students. It will make them know what the appropriate term for anything related sex and can using on appropriate time and place too. Hence, they can respect that terms thus wouldn’t made it as joke or mock.
– This problems growing, from tease victims into suicidal act, because school didn’t really care about this kind of problem. There are counselors or health workers, but they didn’t do their work correctly. On the other side, school much more stressed on achievement and school grade, but not on the emotional growth of student. When student’s score decreased, school will notice about the problem. But if studentes show different behavior, it’s not being problem for school, while the problem getting bigger and bigger for the students.
– The victims usually talked about their problems to their close relatives, like their parents or teacher. Unfortunately, most of them just said ‘omit it’. Maybe you think it is just simple things, and you not expect it can grow into something danger, like suicide, but it is. Do not ever perceive children’s behavior change or their wishes to move to other school as trivial things. They will think nobody care about them, they become more quiet and didn’t want to talk their problem, and one day they will commit on suicide.
– The solution can be formed as empowering children to look strong and able to protect themselves. Many of parents want their children to be ‘good students’, so they almost suggest their children to avoid trouble. This message, especially if the parents didn’t explain more, can interpret by children as ‘everything that you receive (including bad behavior) do not fight for it, and do not tell to anybody, because if you do so, you will be in the trouble, thus made you into bad boy’. The children don’t want to talk because they don’t want to perceive as rebel child, which is wrong. So, as parent, you need to clearly state and explain the meaning of ‘good boy’, and also ask to the children what they perceive about your explanation. Children who ended up to be bullying victims usually because they look weak, so it is important, beside teaching your child to become good children (which is good), also teaching them to protect themselves and being strong, so nobody will dare to hurt or mocking them.
– Bullying happen, because one, or a few people, want to show their existence. It will be growing if most of students, which have role as audiences, also support this group, with laugh and avoid the victim when the victim had been tease. So, it can diminish if most students, which have role as audiences, didn’t show any interest on bullying phenomenon. There is a story, when one girl who always been bullying ask to her mother to move her into other school. Her mother accepted it. One day, there was a study tour to one place, this girl met with group from her old school who always tease her. Directly, she teased again with them but fortunately, her friends from new school make a circle to her, and say loudly to no need to care of them and walk away. It will worked to boost her self pride and self esteem, so all of teasing from group from her old school will have no meaning anymore. She will intended commiting to suicide because she have friend and teacher who always loveher. So, it is important to teach students to not tease and bully their friend and also to protect their friend if his/her being bullying. I also remember when I was teaching. We, as teachers, always taugh students to always respect other friends. There is one event when one student (A) had presentation. He was not really fluent explaining (considering he still 4 yo) and made one of student (B) laugh to him. We directly ask to B, what if he standing in front like A and someone laugh at him. We ask about his feeling. It made all of student learn to respect each other and also made B ask forgiveness to A.
Ultimately, I really hope schools pay attention about bullying phenomenon and considering it as serious thing, and also made action to tackle it. So, no one will commit to suicide, because if being bullying victims.